never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
