Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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