apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
