i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
