I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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