I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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