4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
