Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
