An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
