chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
