the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
porn star boner night. come get it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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