And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
