what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
