you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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