Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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