this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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