he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
