Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
