just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
