Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
