i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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