I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
