Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
