Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize