Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
