Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
