Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
