That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
