Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
