Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
As shirtless as possible
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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