At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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