I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
