So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
