Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
operation have a gay friend backfired
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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