ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
