trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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