TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
