I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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