just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
