Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
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