lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
