So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
