I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You are a genius and a whore.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
