I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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