PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
