I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
