she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
