Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
