just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
