you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
