So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
