I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
